What Quarantine Taught Me About Dating Apps - Part 1

After hearing from my friends, "you should put yourself out there," too many times, I succumbed to the pressure and decided to download Muslim dating apps. Part of me was also "men-deprived" because of COVID, so I was like why not?

When I was done adding the finishing touches on my Muzmatch profile, it was time to swipe. Here goes! The first profile and photo which popped up on my phone screen, showed a 6-foot-tall man, with muscular arms, chiseled jawline, straight black hair, wearing a suit and tie. He was hot! If I could give him a pseudonym, it would be either Imran Khan or Channing Tatum. But their younger versions.

I scrolled through his bio. He was a doctor. Ok, so he's financially stable but then how much time do doctors spend with their significant others? Probably, no more than an hour. I wasn't even with this guy, why am I even thinking that?

I read further. He didn't drink, smoke, or do weed. Great! Neither did I. He ate Halal. Ok, I don't always eat halal. I do eat beef and chicken from non-Halal restaurants but that's it.

And then he wanted to get married with 2-3 years. That sounds good too. I wasn't in a rush. I looked through some more of his photos, swiped right, and sent him a quick "Hi."

After that, all the profiles I came across made me cringe. Or maybe I was being too judgemental? I'm not sure. But it was like I was surrounded by a bunch of dorky fobs. I couldn't t tell if some of them showered or not. They probably did but their photos didn't convey that. Hair was all over the place. Most of them drank or did weed. Ugh, really?! I'm not a goodie two-shoes but drinking and weed is such a turn off. Others just reminded me of an odd version of Steve Urkel, but with a mustache, stubble and messy hair.

Other times, their bios had typos or spelling mistakes or they were just way too long. Sorry, but I'm not here to read an essay. But most of the time, I just wasn't attracted. Maybe I'm asexual or maybe they're just not good looking. Probably the latter.

This was hopeless! To top it all off, the guy that I was attracted to, aka Imran Khan/Channing Tatum, didn't even have the decency to reply to my "Hi."What a whimp! And then, the following day his profile disappeared. So either he blocked me or he closed his account. I couldn't believe a simple "Hi" can drive someone away. How else are we supposed to make conversation? Should I use sign language to speak to you?

I wish I had one of those stress relief balls. I wanted to squeeze it until it popped. Or better yet an inflatable kickboxing bag. I was ready to punch something. Dating was harder than I thought. And why did I have to choose to do it during COVID? I couldn't even meet the guy in person. This is so frustrating.

But this is how it was. And it was just the beginning.