What Quarantine Taught Me About Dating Apps - Last Part

When I downloaded Hinge, one of the biggest struggles I faced was finding Muslim men. And if they were Muslim, they weren't attractive, they drank, smoked weed, or they were just inappropriate. I don't appreciate it when men are being suggestive or indecent, especially within the initial stages, because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't understand how men can make sexual remarks without even knowing the woman or feeling something for her. Intimacy comes with trust and time and if it doesn't seem right, then it's never going to feel right. There's a time and place for it but it shouldn't feel forced or awkward, it should feel right. But I didn't stick around Hinge too long. Because I felt the app was leading me to a dead end, I decided to dip.

After deleting Hinge, I downloaded Minder aka Muslim Tinder. Many of the guys I came across on Muzmatch, I also ran into on Minder. This is so strange. Why are they here too? And how do they have the capacity and mental energy to maintain multiple dating profiles. It was strange when some of the same guys I didn't like on Muzmatch swiped right on me on Minder. Just because the app changed, doesn't mean my opinion did.

At the time, I didn't realize that these men were just widening their dating pools by being on more than one dating app. But now I get it. However, I don't agree with their methods. I don't think being on more than one dating app makes much of a difference because you are likely going to run into the same people time and time again. Here and there, new users are trickling in but it's not about quantity, it was and always has been about quality and mutual attraction which is rare to find.

Whether it's Muzmatch, Minder, Hinge or any other dating app, it takes time and lots of time to find someone who aligns well with you, your values, goals and ambitions. It may not happen in a day or in a few months or even a year and regardless of whether it happens or not, we need to work as hard as possible on ourselves. Recently a friend told me, "once you become the best version of yourself, you will then attract the best person." To me, this means to respect yourself and to know your worth. It also means to go out and do things that bring you happiness. In my case, it means exercising, traveling, catching up with friends, cooking, reading a romance novel, writing, or blogging. In yours, it may mean something entirely different but the ultimate goal is to indulge in things that make you happy.

Despite my lousy experience with dating apps, I wouldn't discourage people from using them because they are a great way of meeting new people and starting a conversation. But I will say that I wouldn't completely depend on them either. I will never encourage any of you to waste all your time and energy on them, because there's far more to life than swiping. Learn to look up from your phone and take in your surroundings. You will be surprised with what you may find.

Patience and perseverance are critical in all aspects of life but especially in the dating process. It takes time to get to know someone and learn about them and their family. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and if it's done with the wrong person, it can have serious consequences on you and your mental health. You don't want to live your life in regret so it's imperative to choose wisely. But don't worry about how long it takes. And don't be in a rush. Remember, haste makes waste. Enjoy your single life. Enjoy the freedom of going anywhere without worrying about your husband or children or in-laws. Time is of essence and it never comes back so stop taking it for granted and make make the most of what you have.

Invest in yourself. Live authentically. Change your mindset. Continue to achieve your goals, cultivate friendships, meet new people everyday, travel, cook, read a new book and learn a new skill. Work on YOURSELF. Make yourself happy and see how your life changes.