The Imposter Syndrome

Throughout most of my first year at Columbia, I was the target of the notorious "imposter syndrome." I questioned my presence at the J-school many times and felt I didn't belong there because my qualifications, compared to other students, felt minute. When I learned that some students worked as writers at CNN or producers at NBC before coming to Columbia, I felt belittled.

The point is I couldn't comprehend how I got into an Ivy League school. No matter how many times I tried to connect the dots, I failed. It made no sense to me until I started interacting with other students on a oRejection Hurts But It Leads You Into The Right Directionne-on-one basis. When I began to hang out with my classmates outside of school, I learned that some were well-versed in print, others in multimedia, investigative reporting, long-form storytelling and whatnot. This all meant that each of us have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, if someone is great at print, it doesn't mean they may be good at audio and vice versa. Even the most experienced student journalists (the ones from the M.A. program) did not have all the skills and that is OK. (Side Note: You would NOT be at the j-school if you were a know it all.)

But why was I comparing myself to others in the first place? Why did it matter to me that I wasn't an author of some book or a reporter at Reuters? Who was I trying to impress? The short answer is that I wanted to fit in and not be the outlier. Deep down I cared about how other students viewed me as a person and as a journalist. I wanted to share some of my past endeavors with other students and seek praise. But, what would that do? It may give me happiness for a short period of time but that's about it.

So, I had to try and put a stop to it. Sometimes you have to tune out the extraneous noise and focus on yourself because j-school is not about comparing yourself to others, envying their successes and showing off. Instead, it's about bringing each other up, turning those weaknesses into strengths and learning from each other. You HAVE to do YOU!

I quickly learned that comparing yourself to others is not healthy because if you keep putting yourself down, others will too. If you don't know your own worth, then how could you expect others to know your worth? So instead of questioning how did I even make it this far or saying, "I don't belong here," ask yourself these questions instead: "What can I do to move forward? "How can I boost my skills?" "What are my ultimate career goals?" "What am I taking away from this program?" and say to yourself "I CAN DO IT!"

DON'T DON'T and DON'T allow others to take away the j-school experience that you rightfully earned! It's yours and YOU have the power to make the most of it! I learned never to limit yourself and to look ahead. I had to remind myself that I'm here to LEARN, not to gloat about how I produced my first documentary or became an anchor on Aaj TV. None of that is relevant! So, what if someone was an anchor or a producer or a reporter, they are STILL learning too! At the end of the day, we are ALL learning and growing. We are ALL in the same boat! So, I learned to NEVER compare myself to anyone! I am an individual and I know how to tackle my weaknesses, so I advise you all to do the same.

What is essential are the skills you acquire from the program and how you apply them into your professional workplace. Regardless of what class you take, you are bound to learn something new at the j-school. It will make you a critical thinker and constantly push you to challenge your curiosity.

The j-school has a HUGE network and the more you put yourself out there and spur conversations with people you DON'T know, it will HELP you!